812 

BG77  m 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 
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E MAN 
ABOUT 


^WALTER  H.  BAKER  5 CO. 

NS25  WINTER.  STREET^ 

y BOSTON,  A 


COPYRIGHT,  1893,  BY  WALTER  H.  BA 


BAKER’S  DARKEY  PLAYS 

Edited  and  arranged  for  publication  from  the  well-known  repertoire  of 
“ SCHOOLCRAFT  AA D COES  ” with  all  their  original 
“gags”  and  "•stage  business.” 

BY  GEO.  H.  COES. 

Price  .....  15  cents  each. 


“Luke  Schoolcraft”  and  “George  Coes”  are  too  well  known  to  admirers  of 
Negro  Minstrelsy  to  require  comment,  and  the  following  selections  from  their 
admirable  repertory  of  pieces  have  no  need  of  other  recommendation.  No  one 
Avho  has  seen  these  artists  in  any  of  the  following  list  of  sketches  needs  assur- 
ance of  their  humor  and  good  acting  quality.  Twelve  are  now  ready,  and  others 
will  follow  as  the  demand  arises. 

Mrs.  Didymus’  Party.  In  One  Scene.  Two  male  characters. 
Scene,  a plain  room.  An  immensely  humorous  trifle.  Plays 
twenty  minutes. 

Music  VS.  Elocution.  In  One  Scene.  Two  male  characters. 

Scene,  a plain  room.  Always  very  popular.  Plays  fifteen  minutes.. 
Mistaken  Identity.  In  One  Scene.  Eight  male  and  one  female 
characters.  Can  be  played  in  “white  face”  if  desired.  Plays 
fifteen  minutes. 

Oh,  Well,  It’s  No  Use.  In  One  Scene.  Three  male  characters. 
A very  funny  sketch,  full  of  genuine  darkey  humor.  Plays 
twenty  minutes. 

Here  She  Goes,  and  There  She  Goes.  In  One  Act.  Eight 
male  and  one  female  characters.  An  uproariously  funny  piece 
of  great  popularity.  Plays  twenty-five  minutes. 

A Finished  Education.  A Finale  for  the  “First  Part”  of  a 
Minstrel  Entertainment.  Three  speaking  characters.  No  change 
of  scene 

Black  Blunders.  In  Two  Scenes.  Nine  males  and  three  females. 
Scenery  simple;  costumes  eccentric.  Very  lively  and  amusing. 
Plays  twenty-five  minutes. 

The  Old  Parson.  A “First  Part  Finish”  for  a Minstrel  Enter- 
tainment. Six  speaking  characters.  No  change  of  scene. 
Sublime  and  Ridiculous.  In  One  Scene.  Three  male  characters. 
Scenery  and  costumes  very  simple.  A sure  hit  for  a good  burlesque 
comedian.  Plays  twenty  minutes. 

Everyday  Occurrences.  A “First  Part  Finish”  for  a Minstrel 
Entertainment.  Three  speaking  characters.  No  change  of  scene. 
Badly  Sold.  In  Two  Scenes.  Four  male  characters  and  supers. 
A very  funny  piece.  Can  be  played  “white  face”  with  equally 
good  effect.  Plays  twenty  minutes. 

Our  Colored  Conductors.  In  Two  Scenes.  Three  male  char- 
acters and  ten  supers.  This  is  an  uproariously  funny  “ skit”  and  a 
sure  hit.  Plays  twenty  minutes. 


Catalogues  describing  the  above  and  other  popular  entertainments 
sent  free  on  application  to 

WALTER  H.  BAKER  & CC 

THEATRICAL  PUBLISHERS, 

;et  - BOSTON,  ' 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN 


S Negro  jFnrcc  tn  ©tie  Set 


By  E.  BOWERS 


BOSTON 


1894 


CHARACTERS. 


Joshua  Seeds,  a tobacconist. 

Orlando  Shortcut,  who  would  be  his  son-in-law. 
Peter  Pipes,  the  Man  about  Town. 

Joe  Bitters. 

Virginia  Seeds,  Seeds's  daughter. 


Copyright,  1894,  by  Walter  H.  Baker  & Co. 


PROPERTIES. 


Cane  for  Seeds.  Two  letters  for  Peter.  Spectacles.  Gun  for  Seeds. 
Gum-drops.  Saw,  hammer,  etc.,  for  Seeds.  One  stovepipe  bonnet.  Dummy 
sign  figure.  Box  for  figure  to  stand  on.  Long  counter.  Bundles,  cigar- 
boxes,  broom,  etc.,  for  store.  Jar  with  coffee,  marked  “ snuff.” 


//fat., 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


Scene  I.  — A street  in  one. 


( Enter  Orlando,  l.) 


Orlando.  I am  more  than  half  a mind  to  go  before  the  mayor, 
and  take  an  oath  to  burn  and  destroy  all  tobacconists  in  general, 
and  old  Seeds  in  particular.  He  has  just  refused  me  the  hand  of 
his  daughter ; kicked  me  out  of  the  house,  and  locked  his  daughter 
in  her  room.  My  only  plan  now  is  to  run  away  with  her  and  get 
married  in  spite  of  him.  But  how  to  get  a letter  to  her  telling  her 
of  my  plan. 

Peter  (sings  outside  l.).  Halloa!  there  is  my  old  friend  Peter 
Pipes.  He  is  just  the  man  I want ; but  then  he  looks  so  shabby. 
Never  mind  ; he  can  contrive  some  plan  to  get  a note  to  her,  Pm 
sure.  (Calls  Peter.)  Isay,  Peter!  Peter!  come  this  way.  I wish 
to  speak  with  you. 


(Enter  Peter,  l.,  singing .) 

Peter.  Why,  Shortcut,  how  are  you  ? You  look  as  nice  as  a 
new  barber’s  pole. 

Orlando.  Peter,  where  have  you  been  this  long  time,  and  what 
makes  you  look  so  shabby? 

Peter.  Why,  I saved  up  four  dollars  to  go  into  business  with, 
when  I busted. 

Orlando.  What  did  you  do  with  the  four  dollars? 

Peter.  I put  it  in  the  bank  — Faro  Bank. 

Orlando.  How  did  you  succeed  with  your  investment? 

Peter.  First-rate.  I got  in  the  poorhouse  the  next  day. 
Orlando.  How  did  you  get  out  of  the  poorhouse? 

Peter.  I knocked  down  the  keeper  and  run. 

Orlando.  Well,  Peter,  I can  put  you  in  a way  to  make  five 
dollars.  Can  I trust  you  ? 

Peter.  I guess  so  ; that’s  what  they  all  do. 

Orlando.  Oh,  no  ; I mean  can  I lodge  a secret  in  your  breast? 
Peter.  Well,  I think  so;  that  is,  if  the  lodging  was  paid  for. 
Orlando.  Why,  have  you  no  money  — no  blunt  ? 

Peter.  Blunt?  What  do  you  mean  by  blunt  ? 


Orlando.  Why  money,  — money  is  blunt. 

3 


A shilling  is  blunt. 


4 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


Peter.  Oh,  a shilling  is  blunt,  is  it  ? 

Orlando.  Yes.  Now  listen  to  me.  I have  a father. 

Peter.  Well,  some  people  do  have  fathers  at  some  period  of 
their  lives. 

Orlando.  I have  a father  who  has  threatened  to  cut  me  off 
with  a shilling. 

Peter.  But  a shilling  ain’t  sharp  enough. 

Orlando.  Why  ain’t  a shilling  sharp  enough? 

Peter.  Because  it’s  blunt.  Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

Orlando.  Never  mind  ; my  father  has  threatened  to  cut  me  out 
of  his  will  because  I fell  in  love. 

Peter.  Well,  can’t  you  get  up  again? 

Orlando.  No ; I have  pledged  my  love  beyond  redemption. 

Peter.  Redemption?  I know  him;  he  is  a pawnbroker. 

Orlando.  Before  this  threat  of  my  father’s  everything  was  all 
right;  but  the  father  of  the  girl  I love  heard  of  it,  and  to-day  has 
kicked  me  out  of  the  house,  and  locked  his  daughter  in  her  room. 
Now,  I wish  to  run  away  with  her  and  get  married,  and  I wish  you 
to  take  a note  to  her.  Will  you  assist  me  ? 

Peter.  How  much  is  the  young  lady  worth  ? 

Orlando.  About  forty  thousand  dollars. 

Peter.  Has  she  got  any  sisters? 

Orlando.  No;  she  is  an  only  child.  Why? 

Peter.  Well,  I was  thinking  of  marrying  into  the  family  myself 
if  she  had  a sister. 

Orlando.  Well,  well,  will  you  assist  me? 

Peter.  Make  it  five  dollars  and  a quarter. 

Orlando.  Five  dollars  and  a quarter  be  it,  then.  In  the  first 
place,  I will  write  a note,  which  you  must  take  to  the  young  lady. 
But  you  must  not  let  her  father  see  you,  and  I think  you  will  have 
to  use  stratagem  to  get  into  the  house. 

Peter.  Stuttering  Jim?  I know  him. 

Orlando.  Oh,  no  ; I mean  you  will  have  to  be  very  careful  and 
not  let  her  father  see  you. 

Peter.  Has  the  house  got  a door  ? 

Orlando.  Of  course  the  house  has  got  a door. 

Peter.  Then  all  I’ve  got  to  say  is,  she  will  get  the  note. 

Orlando.  Then  come  this  way,  and  I will  instruct  you  further. 

(. Exeunt  both , L.) 

Scene  II.  — A chamber  in  two . 

( Enter  Old  Seeds  and  Virginia  r.  and  L.,  meeting .) 

Seeds.  Well,  my  child,  here  you  are,  thinking  of  Mr.  Orlando 
Shortcut,  no  doubt.  I can  tell  you  one  thing,  you  never  shall 
marry  him. 

Virginia.  But,  father,  why  object  to  him ; he  is  a dear,  sweet 
man. 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN.  5 

Seeds.  Sweet  or  sour,  he  don’t  get  you.  You  must  marry 
some  one  out  of  the  common  way. 

Virginia.  But  people  who  are  out  of  the  common  way  are  not 
at  all  in  my  way. 

Seeds.  No,  no  ; your  husband  must  be  rich  and  a man  of  taste. 
Virginia.  His  taste  I sha’n’t  dispute,  for  his  love  for  me  wijpi 
prove  his  taste.  (Peter  knocks  l.) 

Seeds.  * Go  see  who  is  at  the  door.  ( Enter  Peter,  l.)  Well, 
whoever  it  is,  he  is  coming  in  without  waiting  for  an  invitation. 
(Peter  has  a letter  which  he  tries  to  make  Virginia  notice .} 
Seeds.  Well,  sir,  what  do  you  want? 

Peter.  Does  Mr.  Cadwallader  live  here  ? 

Seeds.  No;  Mr.  Cadwallader  don’t  live  here. 

(Peter  makes  signs  to  Virginia  which  she  does  not  see.  Seeds 
keeps  his  back  towards  Peter  as  much  as  possible.} 

Peter.  A man  told  me  this  was  his  house. 

Seeds.  Mr.  Cadwallader  don’t  live  here,  and  this  is  not  his 
house  ; and  if  that  is  all  you  want,  the  sooner  you  get  out  of  this 
house  the  better,  or  I will  have  you  kicked  out. 

(Peter  pretends  to  cry , rushes  towards  Virginia,  tries  to  have  her 
see  the  note.  She  turns  her  back.} 

Seeds.  What  is  the  matter  with  you?  Why  do  you  look  thus 
wildly  at  my  daughter,  and  burst  into  tears? 

Peter.  A man  told  me  Mr.  Cadwallader  lived  here,  and  I want 
to  see  Mr.  Cadwallader,  because  if  I see  Mr.  Cadwallader,  Mr.  Cad- 
wallader will  — (Aside.}  I wish  the  gal  would  take  this  letter. 

(During  this  Old  Seeds  has  been  watching  Peter.  Peter  holds 
the  letter  towards  Virginia,  when  Old  Seeds  seizes  Peter  and 
the  letter.} 

Seeds.  What  is  this?  A letter  to  my  daughter,  and  from  Or- 
lando Shortcut?  And  you  are  the  carrier,  are  you  ? 

Peter.  Yes,  I am  the  mail — I am  the  blackmail. 

Seeds.  I’ll  blackmail  you.  I’ll  stop  your  carrying  letters. 
Peter.  It’s  against  the  law  to  stop  the  mail. 

Seeds.  Where  is  my  gun  — sword  — pistol  — anything  ? 
Peter.  Here  is  a shoestring. 

(Seeds  gets  his  cane  and  beats  Peter  off  l.  ; then  crosses  to 
Virginia.) 

Seeds.  So,  so  ; treason  in  my  house,  and  you  are  at  the  bottom 
of  it.  I’ll  lock  you  in  your  room,  and  you  sha’n’t  leave  it  until  you 
are  married,  and  married  to  please  me. 

Virginia.  But  father,  Mrs.  Stitch,  the  dressmaker,  will  be  here 
to-day.  I hope  you  will  allow  me  to  see  her. 


6 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


Seeds.  I’ll  think  of  it.  Come,  away  to  your  room,  you  ungrate- 
ful daughter  ! Come,  in  with  you  ! {Pushes  Virginia  off  r.,  and 
exit  r.) 


Scene  III.  — A street , same  as  first  scene.  Enter  Orlando,  r. 

& 

Orlando.  Confound  that  fellow,  how  he  stays  ! (Looks  off  l.) 
Ah,  here  he  comes  at  last. 

(Enter  Peter,  l.) 

Well,  Peter,  how  does  our  game  proceed? 

Peter.  Our  game’s  played  out.  I had  a bad  hand,  and  was 
beaten. 

Orlando.  Did  not  my  letter  reach  the  lady  ? 

Peter.  No;  but  the  old  man’s  cane  reached  me,  and  I’ve 
reached  here,  and  I’ve  got  the  worst  of  the  bargain. 

Orlando.  In  other  words,  you  left  his  ca7ie  while  you  were 
able. 

Peter.  That’s  what  I was  just  on  the  eve  of  telling  you. 

Orlando.  Well,  our  bargain  was,  you  were  to  deliver  the  letter, 
and  I was  to  give  you  five  dollars. 

Peter.  And  a quarter. 

Orlando.  If  you  don’t  deliver  the  letter,  you  don’t  earn  the 
money. 

Peter.  Well,  I’ll  try  once  more,  and  if  I fail  this  time,  I’m  no 
actor. 

Orlando.  Actor?  Why,  are  you  a spouter  ? 

Peter.  Yes ; I spout  everything  I can  get  my  hands  on. 

Orlando.  Well,  come  this  way,  and  we  will  have  another  trial 
of  your  skill.  (Exeunt  both , L.) 

Scene  IV.  Chamber  with  window  for  Peter  to  jump  through. 

(Enter  Old  Seeds,  r.) 

Seeds.  I have  been  watching  to  see  if  I could  find  any  of  the 
servants  of  Mr.  Orlando  Shortcut  round  here.  The  idea  of  his 
marrying  my  daughter!  Why,  the  fellow  has  not  got  a penny  in 
the  world.  What,  marry  the  daughter  of  the  Seeds  family!  Why, 
the  fellow  must  be  crazy.  Ah,  here  comes  my  daughter.  (Enter 
Virginia,  r.)  Well,  my  dear,  I see  you  have  at  last  gained 
strength  enough  to  leave  your  room. 

Virginia.  Yes,  father ; but  is  it  not  strange  Mrs.  Stitch,  the 
dressmaker,  does  not  come  ? 

Seeds.  There  you  go  again  ! It  seems  to  me  you  think  of  noth- 
ing but  Mrs.  Stitch  and  that  puppy  Shortcut.  But  you  never  shall 
marry  him  ; that  you  can  be  sure  of. 

Virginia.  But,  father,  you  know  that  I love  him,  and  — 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


7 


Seeds.  Love  him ! You  fall  in  love  with  every  man  you  see. 
There  was  Mr.  Somerset.  As  soon  as  you  saw  him,  you  were  dead 
in  love. 

Virginia.  Now,  father,  you  know  he  was  rich,  and  a man  of 
taste.  But  you  would  not  let  me  marry  Mr.  Somerset. 

Seeds.  No.  Do  you  think  I wanted  my  daughter  to  turn  a 
Somerset?  Never. 

(Knock  outside.  Enter  Peter  dressed  as  Mrs.  Stitch,  with 
hoops,  etc.  In  this  scene  Peter  speaks  in  a female  voice.) 

Peter.  Good-day,  my  dear,  will  your  brother  have  the  kindness 
to  leave  us  to  ourselves  ? 

Virginia.  My  brother  ! Why,  Mrs.  Stitch,  that  is  my  father  ! 
Peter.  Excuse  me ; he  looks  so  young,  I thought  it  was  your 
brother. 

Seeds.  That’s  a very  sensible  dressmaker,  and  not  bad  look- 
ing. No,  Mrs.  Stitch,  I could  not  leave  the  room.  You  must 
know  that  there  is  a young  fellow  pretends  to  love  my  daughter, 
and  he  has  a low  blackguard  of  a rascal  engaged  to  bring  letters  to 
her,  and  I could  not  think  of  leaving.  Besides,  I could  not  think 
of  leaving  so  beautiful,  so  charming,  so  interesting  a lady  as 
yourself  without  having  some  conversation  with  her. 

Peter  (aside;  natural  voice).  Pll  have  the  old  thief  arrested 
for  keeping  a disorderly  house. 

Seeds.  I cannot  leave  the  room,  but  I will  turn  my  back. 
(Seeds  looks  out  of  window.  Peter  crosses  r.  to  Virginia. 
During  the  following  conversation , Peter  has  a tape  and  measures 
Virginia,  as  if  for  a dress.) 

Virginia.  Ah,  Mrs.  Stitch,  Pm  not  happy.  I want  a warm 
heart  — 

Peter.  A warm  heart?  You  have  got  tongue  enough,  but  you 
want  more  pluck.  What  will  you  have,  a sheep’s  tongue  or  a beefs 
heart — which  ? 

Virginia.  You  don’t  understand  me.  I want  sympathy. 

Peter.  I havn’t  got  any  sympathy,  but  I’ve  got  some  harts- 
horn, 

Virginia.  Ah!  You  are  an  artless,  innocent  creature. 

Peter.  Did  you  say  you  would  have  some  hartshorn  ? 

(Peter  pulls  up  his  dress , as  if  to  get  at  his  pants  pocket.  Old 
Seeds  watching  them.  Virginia  stops  Peter  and  exclaims.) 

Virginia.  Pray,  Mrs.  Stitch,  remember  decorum. 

Peter.  De-co-rum.  Yes;  he  is  the  one  that  told  me  to  give 
the  gal  this  note.  ( Takes  out  note , Old  Seeds  watching.) 

Seeds.  Hang  me,  if  that  dressmaker  hasn’t  got  a note.  I must 
watch  them. 

(Peter  goes  up  to  Virginia  to  give  her  the  note.  He  puts  his  hand 
on  her  shoulder , and  is  supposed  to  get  pricked  by  a pin.  Peter 


8 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


exclaims  in  his  natural  voice , “ Damn  that  pin!”  Old  Seeds 
rushes  between  them , seizes  the  note , then  grabs  Peter  by  the 
skirts , beats  him  round  stage  with  cane ; the  skirt  tears  off, 
leaving  nothing  on  Peter  but  pants , hoops,  waist,  and  bonnet. 
Peter  mins  for  the  window,  jumps,  and  is  caught  with  head  out 
of  window  and  heels  in,  Old  Seeds  beating  him  with  cane  as 
scene  closes  in.) 

Scene  V.  — Street,  same  as  first. 

( Enter  Orlando,  l.) 

Orlando.  What  can  keep  Peter  so  long?  I suppose  his  last 
plan  has  failed  with  the  rest.  (Looks  off  l ; enter  Peter,  l,  still 
in  hoops.)  Well,  Peter,  caught  again? 

Peter.  Yes  ; caught  again.  I don’t  understand  these  lover 
scrapes,  so  you  must  make  some  allowance. 

Orlando.  Thus  far  everything  is  a failure. 

Peter.  Well,  I’ve  got  a plan  to  finish  the  job  now.  I want  you 
to  go  down  by  the  pump  and  wait  until  I come.  (Exit  Peter,  l.) 

Orlando.  1 have  not  the  least  doubt  but  this  will  fail  with  the 
rest.  Never  mind,  I’ll  wait  down  by  the  pump.  (Exit  l.) 

Scene  VI.  — Exterior  of  a tobacco  store.  Sign  over  door  “ Jacob 
Seeds.”  A sign  figure , size  of  life , stands  before  the  door , with 
long  white  coat , white  hat , red  shirt  and  pants  the  same  as 
Peter’s. 

(Enter  Peter,  l.) 

Peter.  Here  is  old  Seeds’s  house  ; but  how  to  get  in,  that  is  the 
question.  Let  me  see;  I’ll  take  the  clothes  off  this  old  fellow,  put 
them  on,  and  then  see  what  kind  of  a sign  I will  make.  ( Takes  the 
figure  off  the  box.  Exit  with  it,  l.  ; puts  on  coat  and  hat  the  same  as 
those  on  the  figure  ; enter  immediately.)  Now,  I don  t see  but  what 
I can  make  a good  sign.  I’ll  just  stand  on  this  box.  The  young 
lady  mav  come  out  of  the  house  or  look  out  of  the  window  ; then  I 
can  give  her  the  letter.  (Stands  on  box  in  the  same  position  as  the 
figure  was.)  There,  I guess  I make  as  good  a sign  as  any  in  the 
city. 

(‘Old  Seeds  appears  at  upper  window  in  flat  with  a gun.) 

Seeds.  I wonder  if  there  are  any  of  the  servants  of  Mr.  Orlando 
Shortcut  round  here.  If  I see  any  of  them,  I’ll  blow  their  brains 
out.  Hallo,  there  is  my  sign  figure  out-doors  yet.  I say  Joe,  Joe, 
take  in  the  sign  and  shut  up  shop.  (Disappears  from  window. 
Enter  Joe  from  house  and  takes  Peter,  who  stands  stiff,  and  car- 
ries him  into  house.  Then  returns  and  gets  box , and  exit  into 
house.) 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


9 


Scene  VII.  — Interior  of  tobacco  store;  long  coufiter  with  btmdles 
tied  up  ; three  or  four  jars , one  filled  with  ground  coffee  to  repre- 
sent snuff ; a stove  painted  red  to  represent  a very  hot  fire ; a 
broom ; a set  window , l.  3 e.  for  Peter  to  jump  through. 
Peter  discovered  standing  on  box  near  the  stove;  he  is  now  rep- 
resenting the  figure  ; makes  business  about  the  fire  in  stove  being 
hot. 

Peter.  Well,  I’m  in  here  at  last.  That  fellow  thought  he  was 
bringing  in  that  old  sign  figure.  Now,  if  I can  only  fool  the  old 
man  it  will  be  all  right.  Ah,  here  he  comes  now.  ( Strikes  atti- 
tude on  the  box  same  as  the  figure  was.) 

(Enter  Old  Seeds,  l.,  Virginia,  r.) 

Seeds.  Now,  Virginia,  promise  me  that  you  will  forget  Mr. 
Orlando  Shortcut,  and  I will  give  you  a new  bonnet,  a new  silk 
dress  — and  — 

Peter.  A soup  ticket. 

Seeds.  Eh?  what  did  you  say  about  soup? 

Virginia.  Soup?  I said  nothing  about  soup. 

Peter  (aside).  I wish  she  would  put  that  old  blower  on  this 
stove;  it’s  getting  mighty  hot  here. 

Seeds.  I’ll  tell  you  what  I am  going  to  do  with  my  sign  figure. 
You  know  Mr.  Brown  the  grocer,  well,  he  has  a Chinaman  in  his 
window  with  gas  burning  out  of  his  mouth.  Now,  I’m  a-going  to 
take  my  sign  figure  there,  bore  a hole  through  him,  put  a gas-pipe 
into  his  head,  stand  him  in  my  window,  and  light  his  nose. 

Peter  (aside).  Not  as  I nose  — on,  old  fellow. 

Seeds.  Now,  Virginia,  you  stop  here,  and  I will  go  and  get  my 
implements  and  commence  the  job  to-night.  (Exit  Old  Seeds,  r.) 

Peter  (trying  to  attract  Virginia’s  attention).  Pst!  pst ! 
say.  Come  here.  (Virginia  looks  round  bewildered ; Peter  jumps 
off  box;  she  screams.)  It’s  all  right;  don’t  make  any  noise.  Mr. 
Shortcut  sent  me  here  ; he  is  waiting  for  you  down  by  the  pump. 
Don’t  stop  to  talk,  but  away  with  you.  (Virginia  exit,  l.  ; Peter 
looking  round.)  Well,  Old  Seeds  has  got  a nice  store  here.  (Goes 
tip  to  counter  and  puts  some  of  the  bundles  up  the  back  of  his  coat ; 
make  any  business  here.)  I must  look  out ; here  comes  the  old 
man.  (Gets  in  position  on  the  box  same  as  before;  enter  Seeds, 
r.,  with  a hand-saw , hammer , etc.) 

Seeds.  I do  think  when  I get  my  sign  figure  in  the  window  it 
will  be  a great  curiosity. 

Peter  (aside).  You  needn’t  take  so  many  panes  about  that  win- 
dow ; it’s  the  last  place  I’ll  go  into. 

Seeds.  I’ll  commence  the  job  at  once.  I’ll  clear  off  this  coun- 
ter and  lay  it  down  here.  (Goes  to  arrange  counter ; upsets  the 
jar  of  coffee  near  the  stove  and  under  Peter’s  nose ; business  of 
Peter  trying  tiot  to  sneeze ; Seeds  says).  There  goes  a jar  of  my 


10 


THE  MAN  ABOUT  TOWN. 


best  snuff.  I’ll  just  sweep  it  up  a little.  ( Gets  broom  and  sweeps 
the  coffee  up  by  the  box , under  Peter’s  nose ; Peter,  business , etc.) 

Seeds.  Why,  I left  my  daughter  here  ; where  can  she  be  ? 
(Peter  trying  not  to  sneeze;  Seeds  calls.)  Virginia,  Virginia! 
Where  are  you  ? {By  this  time  Peter  can  hold  in  no  longer ; he 
commences  to  sneeze ; Old  Seeds  looks  at  him  thunderstruck ; 
Peter  jumps  off  of  box , and  rims  down  l.,  sneezing ; Old  Seeds 
stands  trembling , looking  at  him,  r.) 

Peter.  It’s  all  right,  old  fellow  ; I couldn’t  stand  it  any  longer. 
Seeds.  Hang  me,  if  that  ain’t  the  dressmaker  ! (Rushes  Peter 
round  stage ; Peter  jumps  out  of  window ; crash  of  glass,  etc.; 
Old  Seeds  puffing  and  blowing,  almost  out  of  breath.)  This  is 
another  plot  to  rob  me  of  my  daughter.  Where  the  deuce  can  she 
be?  (Calls.)  Virginia  ! Virginia  ! 

(Enter  Virginia  and  Orlando  Shortcut,  l*.  ; they  both  hold  out 
their  hands  to  Old  Seeds.) 

Virginia.  Here  we  are,  father,  and  want  your  blessing!  (At 
this  moment  Peter  puts  his  head  in  the  window  and  exclaims.) 
Shortcut,  where  is  that  five  dollars  and  a quarter?  (Old  Seeds 
seizes  an  armful  of  bundles  from  the  counter ; Virginia  and  Or- 
lando cross  to  r.  h . as  curtain  lowers ; Peter  flits  his  head  in  and 
out  of  window ; Old  Seeds  throwing  bundles  at  him;  Peter 
laughing  at  him  ; dodging  the  bundles , etc.) 


Curtain. 


FOR  MALE  CHARACTERS  ONLY. 


JULIU5  C/CSAR. 

CONDENSED  INTO  TWO  ACTS,  AND  ARRANGED  FOR 
MALE  CHARACTERS  ONLY. 

By  LESLIE  WARREN. 

FROM  THE  WELL  KNOWN  SHAKESPEAREAN  PLAY. 


Ten  male  characters.  Costumes,  Roman  ; scene,  the  Forum,  the  same  for  both  acts. 
This  ingenious  simplification  of  this  popular  play  is  expressly  made  for  amateur  perform- 
ance in  schools  and  colleges.  The  plot  and  action  of  the  original  are  carefully  preserved, 
and  all  the  celebrated  declamatory  passages  and  familiar  scenes,  but  all  the  stage  difficul- 
ties are  eliminated,  so  that  it  can  be  presented  without  trouble  or  expense. 

Price 15  Cents. 


SHAKESPEARE  FOR  AMATEURS. 


MUCH  ADO  ABOUT  NOTHING. 

CONDENSED  INTO  TWO  ACTS  FROM  SHAKESPEARE’S 
COMEDY  FOR  AMATEUR  PERFORMANCE. 

By  LESLIE  WARREN. 

Eight  male  and  three  female  characters.  Scene,  a single  easy  exterior,  the  same  for 
both  acts.  This  version  is  expressly  designed  to  bring  this  most  brilliant  and  amusing  of 
the  Shakespearian  comedies  within  the  powers  and  capacities  of  amateur  players.  The 
delightful  dialogue  and  sprightly  action  of  the  play  are  presented,  unencumbered  by 
objectionable  incidents  and  passages,  or  mechanical  stage  difficulties. 


Price. 


15  Cents. 


A NEW  COMIC  IRISH  PLAY. 


FINNIGAN’S  FORTUNE. 

AN  IRISH  STEW  IN  THREE  ACTS. 


By  CHARLES  TOWNSEND, 

AUTHOR  OF  “RIO  GRANDE,”  “THE  SPY  OF  GETTYSBURG,”  “ THE  JAIL  BIRD,” 
“MOUNTAIN  WAIF,”  “THE  MAN  FROM  MAINE,”  “BORDER 
LAND,”  “TONY  THE  TRAMP,”  ETC. 

Five  male,  three  female  characters.  Modern  costumes.  Scenery,  two  interiors. 
Time  of  playing,  two  hours  and  a quarter.  This  plav  marks  a new  departure  in  Irish 
plays,  and  every  dramatic  club  With  a good  Irish  comedian  is  bound  to  have  it.  It 
depicts  life  among  the  middle  classes  of  New  York  Citv  with  the  same  deft  touches 
that  Mr.  Harrigan  employs  in  his  famous  “ Mulligan  Guard”  series.  It  is  full  of 
breezv  Irish  wit,  quaint  lvuinor,  bits  of  pathos,  and  the  action  is  so  rapid  that  it 
almost  “ plays  itself.”  Larry  Finmgan,  tiie  good-natured  old  mason,  is  a favorite 
role  with  the  author,  who  plays  it  with  marked  success.  Mrs.  Fiiinigan,  Dutch 
Jake,  his  daughter  Katy,  the  rascally  Count,  — in  short,  all  the  characters,  are  first- 
class,  as  there  is  not  a small  part  in  the  play. 

SYNOPSIS. 

ACT  I.  — The  home  in  Finnigan’s  Alley,  New  York.  Mrs.  Finnigan’s  ambition. 
“ And  me  a-dvin’to  see  the  Italian  Operv ! ” An  unwelcome  visitor.  Ilaffertv’s 
news.  “ Me  wife’s  mother’s  uncle’s  aunt  is  dead!”  On  a strike.  “ What  for 
I dunno.  They  said  strike,  an’ we  struck.”  Rafferty  in  hot  water.  Finnigan’s 
song.  1 1 is  opinion  of  dudes.  Tammauv  Hall.  Pat  the  daintv.  “He’ll  be 
axin’  for  pie  next;”  Katv’s  reason.  “ Taffy.”  Katy  gets  mad.  “ What  a nice, 
quiet  time  I’m  having  the  day.”  The  telegram.  Fortune  smiles.  “Now  I’ll 
lick  the  Dutchman!  ” “ Is  dot  so  ?”  Tableau. 

ACT  II.  — Finnigan’s  new  home  on  Murray  Hill.  Mrs.  Finnigan's  trouble.  How 
to  speak  “ Friuch.”  Coney  Island.  The  Count  and  Lady  Hannah.  A bit  of 
scandal.  Katv’s  loyalty.  “ Begorrv,  the  ould  mon  has  wan  friend  left.”  High 
society.  Snubs  all  around.  Father  and  son.  The  hank  check.  A bashful 
lover.  'I'he  proposal.  “ Don’t  you  dare  kiss  me!  ” A pretty  pair  of  swindlers. 
Lady  Hannah’s  advice.  A dangerous  game.  More  snubs.  Poor  Finnigan’s 
desperation.  “ I’ll  commit  suicide  av  it  costs  me  me  life.”  Good  advice. 
Tempted.  “ It  looks  like  whiskey.”  Finnigan’s  assertion.  A row. 

ACT  III.  — 'Flie  next  morning.  Finnigan  a wreck.  “I’m  a blowed-up  steam- 
boat!” Husband  and  wife.  Cold  comfort.  Jake  brings  startling  news.  The 
swindlers  compare  notes.  Jake  wants  to  fight.  “ Luff  me  got  at  him ! ” Finni- 
gan steps  in.  “ I can  do  me  own  slugging.”  The  attempted  murder.  The 
surprise.  Policeman  Rafferty.  Finnigan’s  vow.  Finale. 

Price 25  Cents. 


THE  FAMILY  ALBUM, 

AS  EXHIBITED  BY  MRS.  ALMIRA  PEASE,  OF  HOCKANUM. 

% humorous  ^Entertainment  in  ©nc  &rt. 

By  KATE  F.  ELLIS. 

The  onlv  speaker  is  the  one  who  exhibits  the  “ pictures,”  fifteen  in  number.  These 
are  shown  in  a frame  constructed  like  an  album,  and  reproduce,  humorously,  the  usual 
assortment  of  family  photographs.  A novel  and  attractive  variation  of  the  tableau 
entertainment. 


Price. 


15  Cents. 


BAKER’S  SELECTED  LIST 

OF  JUVENILE  OPERETTAS 

designed  especially  for  Church,  School,  and  other  Amateur  Organ- 
izations. Complete,  with  all  the  music  and  full  directions  for 
performance. 


randpa’s  Birthday.  In  One  Act.  Words  by  Dexter  Smith; 
music  by  C.  A.  White.  For  one  adult  (male  or  female)  and  three 
children;  chorus,  if  desired.  Price,  25  Cents. 

mmy,  The  Newsboy.  In  One  Act.  Written  and  composed  by 
W>  C.  Parker.  For  one  adult  (male),  and  one  boy.  No  chorus. 
Very  easy  and  tuneful.  Price,  25  Cents. 

le  Four-leafed  Clover.  In  Three  Acts.  By  Mary  B.  Horne. 
For  children  of  from  six  to  fifteen  years.  Seven  boys,  seven  girls, 
and  chorus.  Very  picturesque.  Price,  50  Cents. 

;ans  and  Buttons.  In  One  Act.  Words  by  Wm.  H.  Lepere; 
music  by  Alfred. G.  Robyn.  Two  male  and  two  female  characters; 
no  chorus.  Very  comical  and  easy.  Price,  50  Cents. 

nnt  the  Thimble.  In  One  Act.  Words  by  A.  G.  Lewis;  music  by 
Leo  R.  Lewis.  Two  male,  two  female  characters  and  small  chorus. 
Simple  and  pretty.  Price,  50  Cents. 

id  Riding  Hood’s  Rescue.  In  Four  Scenes.  Words  by  J.  E. 
Estabrook  ; music  by  J.  Astor  Broad.  Three  male,  four  female 
iharacters  and  chorus.  Price,  50  Cents. 

ilden  Hair  and  the  Three  Bears.  .In  Five  Scenes.  By  J.  Astor 
Broad.  Three  adults  (2  m.,  1 f.),  eight  children  and  chorus.  Music 
s easy,  graceful,  and  pleasing.  Price,  75  Cents. 

E.  Porter ; or,  The  Interviewer  and  the  Fairies.  In  Three 
A.cts.  Words  by  A.  G.  Lewis;  music  by  Leo  R.  Lewis.  Six  male, 
;ix  female  characters,  and  chorus.  Very  picturesque  and  pretty. 

Price,  75  Cents. 

rp,  Junior.  In  Two  Acts.  Words  by  Earl  Marble;  music  by 
D.  F.  Hodges.  Two  males,  one  female  (adult),  three  children  and 
fiiorus.  Very  successful  and  easily  produced.  Price,  75  Cents. 

ivinGray;  or,  The  Sailor’s  Return.  In  Three  Acts.  Written 
md  composed  by  C.  A.  White.  Ten  characters,  including  chorus; 
ian  be  made  more  effective  by  employing,  a larger  number. 

Price,  75  Cents. 


"^gues  describing  the  above  and  other  popular  entertain- 
ments sent  free  on  application  to 

LTER  H.  BAKER  & CO., 

'HEATRICAL  PUBLISHERS, 

inter  Street,  - Boston,  Mass. 


NEW  OPERETTAS  FOR  CHILDREN. 


Odd  Operas  for  Eventide. 

A Collection  of  Short  and  Simple  Musical  Entertainments  for  Children. 

By  Mrs.  C.  N.  BORDMAN, 

Author  of  “The  Kingdom  of  Mother  Goose,”  “Motion  Songs  for  the  School- 
room,” “ The  Temperance  Clarion,”  etc. 

Complete  with  all  the  music  and  full  instructions  for  performance.  This  collection  is 
ticabTt  recommeil<^e<^  ^ol  simplicity,  originality  of  idea,  tunefulness  and  perfect  prac-T 

Price cents. 

COlTTEIsTTS. 

A GLIMPSE  OF  THE  BROWNIES.  A Musical  Sketch  for  Chi!-1 

dren.  For  any  number  of  boys. 

JIMMY  GROW.  A Recitation  for  a Little  Girl. 

MARKET  DAY.  An  Operetta  for  Young  People.  Seven  speaking  parts 
and  chorus. 

QUEEN  FLORA’S  DAY  DREAM.  An  Operetta  for  Children.  Six 

speaking  parts  and  chorus. 

THE  BOATING  PARTY.  A Musical  Sketch  for  Little  Children.  Thirty 

boys  and  girls. 

SIX  LITTLE  GRANDMAS.  A Musical  Pantomime  for  very  Little 

Children.  Six  very  little  girls. 

A HOUSE  IN  THE  MOON,  A Recitation  for  a Little  Girl. 


ROBIN’S  SPECIFIC; 

OR,  THE  CHANGES  OF  A NIGHT. 

A Christmas  Operetta  in  One  LYct. 

Words  by  I Music  by 

AMELIA  SANFORD.  i ADAM  CIEBEL. 

For  one  adult  and  nine  children  from  eight  to  sixteen  years  old,  with  eight  very  little  boys 
and  twelve  little  girls  for  Chorus.  Three  changes  of  scene,  very  easily  arranged,  costumes 
varied  but  simple  and  readily  procured.  Very  effective  and  easily  gotten  np. 

Price 25  cents. 


Catalogues  describing  the  above  and  other  popular  entertainments  sent  & 

WALTER  H.  BAKER  & 

THEATRICAL  PUBLISHERS, 

No.  23  Winter  Street.  - BOSTO 


